


One Too Many Shots

by AwkwardDarkness



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU - nothing bad happens, Are these two redheaded spies the same person?, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Find out, Gen, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Secrets, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Truth Serum, accidental confessions, agent curt mega is gay, alcohol is a truth serum now, i guess we're doing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 10:43:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19149421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardDarkness/pseuds/AwkwardDarkness
Summary: After a long night of drinking and socialising, The Avengers think they've found the perfect combination of alcohol that makes Natasha just as talkative as everyone else.But the story she's telling, is too strange to be believed.Nazis, a gay secret agent and she was alive in 1961?Sounds ridiculous.





	One Too Many Shots

Another party night in Avengers HQ left everyone slightly buzzed, joyful and talkative. Natasha surprisingly most of all, she was always the heaviest drinker but the Avengers found the heavy combination of alcohol that made Natasha the most talkative of them all.

Everyone decided to share stories of their adventures before the Avengers, Tony talking about exotic destinations, exotic drinks and exotic women but not before noting he’s so lucky to have Pepper. Steve talked about watching Star Wars for the first time which was hilarious to everyone, especially when he compared himself to Luke Skywalker. Bruce spoke in strange detail about his time living in isolation kind of bumming everyone out until Thor chimed in with a story about his wild parties in Asgard.

Everyone was laughing but Natasha chimes in with “You know, The Avengers kind of reminds me of a group I was in just before I started working with S.H.I.E.L.D. They were total lightweights like you guys.”

Clint looks shocked, “Nat, you’ve never talked about your pre-S.H.I.E.L.D days. Are you sure you want to talk about that?”

Natasha sighs, “Once you defeat an alien army AND a robot army together, you kind of feel like you can tell each other anything, right?”

Everyone else thinks it over for a few seconds and nods.

“You guys already knew I can’t age right? With all the bullshit experiments they put me through in Russia.” she quips.

“Wait what? You’re fucking with me Romanoff.” Steve exclaimed.

“LANGUAGE!” everyone else shouts at once.

“God, you kids are really going to hold to me to that aren’t you?” Steve chuckled.

“Until the day you really kick the bucket, old man.” Tony said, handing Steve another beer.

“Yeah, I guess I’m like you Rogers, though I lived through the sixties, weird decade. In around 1961, I got involved with some Nazis, they held my past hostage, threatening to spill all my secrets.” Natasha continued.

“Fucking sons of bitches.” Steve started, then sighed. “Yeah, yeah language.”

“I met this really stupid secret agent at an arms deal named Curt Mega, then after he was captured by the, ugh, Nazis. They refused to let me go so in order to save my family back home, I helped the agent escape. After the assassination of the prince of New Democratic Republics of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia,” everyone looked at Natasha questioningly, “It was the 1960’s, of course you haven’t heard of it. Anyway, after that, Curt took me to a safehouse.”

“Then assumedly, after all of the action, adrenaline and fear, you two made love in the safe house!” Thor raised his glass.

Natasha pushed it down, “First of all, what kind of girl do you think I am? I don’t fornicate with team mates. Second of all, his mother was there, practically egging us on. We tried to and it was uncomfortable. Curt was still getting over his ex.”

“Right, like any man would pass up rebound sex with you.” Tony remarked.

“Any straight man Tony. Curt Mega was gay but it was the 1960’s, he couldn’t exactly be out.”

“Shit, that’s gotta suck.”

“Just wait until the end of my story, it gets INSANE. So there’s me, Curt, this informant dude and this chick Barb who was super in love with Curt, it was a real shame for her, you know cause he was gay?”

Natasha pauses for a while causing Bruce to say “Nat, your story?”

“Oh shit right!” Natasha exclaims, “Anyway we decide to go after this big bad Deadliest Man Alive, did I mention him? He was there at the arms deal and was like the Nazi’s right hand man. ANYWAY, he goes off on this bigass plan then, he’s Curt’s ex boyfriend, Curt thought he died or something but HOLY SHIT!”

“Damn, that’s one hell of a story Nat but we should get some sleep.” Clint starts to stand up.

Natasha yanks him back down, “I’m not fucking done Barton. This was basically HYDRA under a different name, man! And then after all that, I got this stupid new name, thanks to that asshole! Natasha Romanoff? Could you get more Russian if you tried?”

“Nat, what?” Clint asked, whilst all of the Avengers looked amazingly confused.

“My real name…” Natasha giggled, lowering her voice to a whisper, “is Tatiana Slozhno.”

“Ok, so super drunk Nat is totally a compulsive liar. Good to know.” Tony remarked, “Come on, Nat, let’s get you into a bed.”

“Noooooooo. Couch comfy.” Nat whined.

“Let’s leave her to sleep.” Steve smiled.  
~~~~

Natasha woke up with a pounding headache. How much did she have to drink last night?

Clint was sitting across from her sipping from a mug of coffee, “You know you lie when you’re slammed.”

“Jesus, what the fuck did I say?”

“Something about being alive during the 1960’s, working with a gay secret agent named Curt Mega and your real name being Tatiana Slozhno? You really need to work on fake names Nat, Curt Mega doesn’t sound believable.” Clint told her as he got up to go elsewhere.

“Haha, yeah. I’ll work on it!” Natasha chuckled.

Bringing up her phone, she looks through her contacts list until she finds a number for retirement home.

“Yeah, hi, I’d like to make an appointment to visit Curt Mega.”

“We can book you in for today, madam, who should we tell him is visiting?”

“An old friend. Tatiana Slozhno.”

“Of course Miss Slozhno, come down whenever you’d like!”

Natasha hung up and started laughing. God, she really needed to check how much she was drinking, who knows what else she’d spill?

One thing she knows, Curt would love to hear this.


End file.
